Almost worth it

Well, my despair and pissed offness last night was almost worth it I have to say! Because tonight I got a call from my very dear friend from school, who lives in Australia who rang to find out once she finished cracking up laughing at my wee rant last night - who had pissed the old bitch off this time!!!!!!

What a tonic...lots of laughs, catch ups and being able to talk shit through. Thanks for listening to my fears and concerns and for helping me make sense of it. Its not a nice feeling when you begin to doubt your self worth but we all see things differently and this also goes for people. We could all be standing in a room full of others and everyone have a different take on each other.

Kath and I were mates at high school for our first year there and then drifted the following year after  being separated by the choice of subjects we took and then the paths our lives took. We have only just recently reconnected within the last 4 or 5 years and for me, it has felt like we were never apart and have been close mates all our lives. We just fit...and did immediately. I don't often say that or feel that. I have to be extremely comfortable with someone to be my true self. I think I have a habit of holding back or putting some kind of wall up...I don't know, I don't really know how to put it.  But there aren't too many people I can honestly say, I am completely comfortable with to be able to be myself with, but Kath is definitely one of them.  

So Kath - my beautiful friend...this is for you. I love you dearly and I value the friendship we share. We may not see each other very often at all or talk much, but you lady, are always in my heart - thank you xx

While I'm here (sorry Kath, your moment is over and onto the next topic!) I had my infusion today. Nothing out of the ordinary. Vein found, lure inserted and infusion completed and injection given. Back for another in 28 days. Its weird sitting in this room with other people who are also having infusions done, and you realise you all belong to the same club. The 'cancer' club...not one you want to join believe me, but yet so many of us in it. Theres a mixture of men and woman having infusions, all ages, different ethnic backgrounds, some have had chemo, some haven't. Even the infusions are varied...and the times they go for. I am lucky - mine is a short one. Seven minute flush, 15 minute infusion and another seven minute flush. The longest part is probably trying to find a vein. From the moment I left work to go and when I returned afterwards, it was just shy of two hours. Time I can easily make up.

Thats me for the night, I am completely buggered. I had such a crap sleep last night, my eyes were hanging out at work all day today, blasted computer problems didn't help and laughing til I was almost crying tonight...what a complete mixture of emotions within a 24 hour period!


Wednesday 26th July 2017 - 10.51pm

PS: two posts in one day...one first thing and second, almost at the end of the night