Sweet Louise support group

I attended my first 'metastatic breast cancer support group' meeting yesterday morning. Otherwise known as 'Sweet Louise'. Sweet Louise was inspired by the life of a young woman by the name of Louise Perkins who was first diagnosed with breast cancer at 27 and diagnosed with secondary breast cancer at 29.  A small group of people including Louise's husband set up Sweet Louise to help those with secondary cancer to support them but also to make people more aware of secondary cancer. They celebrate ten years this year...amazing! I for one am very grateful they are there.

There were about 12 women at yesterdays meeting of all ages and the thing that struck me was that by looking at them, you would never know that they have this awful disease within their bodies. I don't know about you but up to now I have always associated people with cancer as looking frail and ill. It was so interesting to hear their stories and everyone had a different story to tell. One woman broke down and cried as she told her story. She has just recently found out her breast cancer has come back. I wanted to break down and sob with her but I don't like crying in front of people and so I held it back with a few tears escaping. I wanted to go and give her a big hug but not everyone is comfortable with that. I left that meeting feeling validated, that the feelings I have been having are shared by others. I felt so invigorated and look forward to going back to the next one. They are every 6 to 8 weeks which is quite a long time but perhaps if they were too often, it would become a chore going.

I find myself watching people now, wondering if they have some kind of health condition that you cannot see. We often see people with physical disabilities but often don't make allowances for those that you cannot see and can be quick to judge. I too am not immune to it especially when it comes to kids. If I hear a kid screaming, I roll my eyes and think thank goodness thats not my kid and if it had been, they would get a good slap (yeah right! - NOT!). And then I think what if that child has ADHD or is autistic...you just never know.  Who are we to judge...

I do know though, that this diagnosis of secondary cancer has changed me. I have less tolerance towards people who bitch and moan about the stupidest things. I have become a little bit more serious...My temper can sometimes rise a lot quicker than before, but I try so hard to keep a lid on it. This is not anyone's fault and so I don't want to take it out on them. Its also not my fault...it just is. It is my 'new' normal. I hope in time I will relax a bit more, as it is all still so new to me and I can be so paranoid about the smallest things.