Night 6 since this fiasco of a bug began. While the razorblades and pounding headaches have ceased, the scratchy throat has taken over, with damn awful hacking and coughing occurring all night almost to the point of vomiting. This god awful gel shit the doctor ordered to numb my throat is a joke. Its a thick gellified goo which ‘plops’ into a glass and the same thing happens when you try to use it for your throat. Its a mission even getting it anywhere near the base of your throat which is where the scratchiness eminates from. Given up on it (gel I mean).
Its been six nights of pure frustration and bugger all sleep. I had really been hoping once the razorblades and headaches left, I would be able to finally get some sleep, but no...last night I was up and down from the lounge to the bedroom, trying to decide where to sleep, worrying I would wake hubby up with my endless hacking. But was so uncomfortable in the lounge, trying to sleep sitting partly upright and the comfort of my bed was calling. So gutted...was so ready for a decent nights sleep finally, but no, it isn’t meant to be. Not yet...
Its a little before 4.00am Sunday morning. I’ve been awake since about 3.00 hoping I’ll quickly nod off again. Tonight has been the best sleep by far. My older daughter and I were watching a netflix series and partly into the third one, I nodded off and got a hell of a shock when she woke me up at the end of it and told me I had slept through most of it. Awesome! Never been so happy to miss a programme in all my life. Waddled off to bed with a lozenge to help ease the not too bad scratchiness and happy to report I was able to go back off the sleep - that was about 11pm. Scratchiness has well and truly settled back in now, so propped upright, had a lozenge, some ibuprofen and paracetamol, a cup of warm water beside me to sip away on - hoping this combination will ease it.
Sleep...somehing we can take for granted. I worry a bit when I don’t get a decent amount of sleep (which is too often) when I have work the next day, but am able to wing it by having a nap when I get home after work. Its not ideal but I can make it through a week of work, wishing everyday was Friday and finally by that lovely blessed day, I can hardly wait for 4.30pm to come when I can jump in my car and go home for two whole days. But THIS! This has been something completely different. Hardly any sleep each night and knowing everyone else in your household is fast asleep and your worried you might wake them with your wanderings around. Thursday night, Friday morning I was so distressed, I ended up ringing the emergemcy number. I was absolutely beside myself. My head felt like it was going to explode, my ears were blocked and sore, made worse by using the waxsol the doctor had prescribed, not so much the razors although still there. But I just didn’t know what to do, and I knew I didn’t have anything in me to go up to A&E so I rang emergency. The dispatcher got someone to ring me and although after asking lots of questions, were able to give me some advice which I followed. Instead of taking the painkillers I use for my cancer aches and pains, I should have been taking ibuprofen. Within half an hour, I could feel the relief kicking in. I felt a bit stupid to be honest, but these days I am so forgetful and it never occurred to me to take those. Funnily enough they’re keeping my aches and pains at bay as well. I womder if I should continue taking them instead of the other stuff...
Today I have felt like a wrung out dishcloth, or how I would imagine one feeling if it could feel. Eyeballs hanging out but just haven’t been able to nod off. Finally crashed out on the couch late afternoon for a little while, but really need to try and catch up on some sleep later today. I am aiming to go back to work tomorrow, but in all honesty, I don’t feel I can or should. I don’t know that my body is ready to go back into that mode of waking up early (if I’ve even been asleep) and having to sit up for eight hours in an office chair. I don’t know, lets see what the rest of today brings. Even the doctor said to me that rest and fluids are the main things required to get better.
So on that note, lets hope that this is the last post about this damn virus, givng you every single account of what is going on. But in all honesty, it gives me something to do during these dark, quiet hours and it brings a sense of relief being able to get it off my chest. Cancer has definitely taken a back seat this last week and I have to admit I really like that! So many people have made contact and said they are always there is I need to be taken anywhere, no matter what time of the day or night. Their offers are so appreciatd but I am not the sort of person who does something like that easily. I have never found it easy asking for help and that continues now. I would imagine, depending on how urgent it is, would absolutely depend on whether I call someone for help. I had to do it in the early days of my diagnosis, especially all those horrendous trips to the A&E when I was having problems with my wound infections.
The scratchiness seems to have eased now and I am slipping down my propped up pillows, feeling quite uncomfortable. Hopefully I can nod back off to sleep again...think I’ll give it a try.
Sunday 29th October 2017 - 4.40am
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