Left home at 6.45am-ish to drop my big girl off into town so she could catch the coach up to Whangarei. She's gone up to spend some time with her mate, for New Years and comes back in about a week. I miss her already...(hopeless!). But hope she has a frigging awesome time.
Then I came home, had brekky and then was off to the hospital to the orthopaedic clinic about my toe. "Throw the moon boot away, you don't need it!" Talk about music to my ears!!!! He said the toes will heal themselves, they are still swollen and will stay that way for a while yet, but hey who cares!!! I could have danced down the hallway except I had to put the moon boot back on, as I only had one shoe with me (and man, they are damn heavy!). Not quite sure what I am going to do about wearing shoes just yet as the thought of cramming my left foot into a shoe brings instant tears to my eyes!
So then it was come home, have some lunch and then hubby and I went Pak n Save shopping - ugh! First time in goodness knows how long, was exhausted by the end of it but we got it done. Hubby took charge, I was really there just to drive us there and pay at the check out...so its been an extremely busy day...just chilling out, updating here before I have a wee snooze before doing dinner.
Its lovely having this time off work. I was tired and in much need of a break. We've been pretty busy, what with getting ready for Christmas Day, visitors and then my mission was to get into the crap that has been sitting out the back of our place for the last two years. It was all put out there (from every nook and cranny within this small house) when we had new carpet put in, in March or April 2015, then winter hit and then breast cancer that October and of course the rest is history. This time last year I was recovering from surgeries, battling infections, in and out of hospital and just not up for sorting shit out. Hubby and I have been going thru stuff, sorting what to keep, what to get rid of and as I am trying to get rid of stuff, he is behind me saying he wants to keep it!!!! He is terrible, a much worse hoarder than me! And while it has been pretty frantic and messy, it feels bloody good to get it done. Still a load of crap there and perhaps I will need to go through it again and see if I can fine tune it a bit more.
Leading up to Christmas was very interesting. I felt very sad a lot of the time, specially when Christmas songs came on. They have always make me a bit teary eyed, but especially since losing mum and dad, and then my beloved David. I kept thinking about the first Christmas that I won't be here and how grieved the girls and hubby will be, it was awful. I felt guilty, I felt like I should have been enjoying this time with them and making the most of it but instead I was dwelling on something that is still in the future and of which I have no control over, or limited if any. It was really quite awful, but over it now.
I have decided that 2016 has been a year of coming to terms with stuff and that 2017 is the start of the rest of my life. I want to try and leave the cancer behind as much as I can. Easier said than done, I know. I mean it is part of me, but it certainly does not define who I am. Having said that though, there have been many times when I have felt the cancer has defined who I am, to a degree. But! If anything, it has made me realise that I need to start focusing on the positives and hanging out with people who mean something to me and are happy to be a part of my journey. I want to start doing things, maybe going out of my comfort zone, though I am quite nervous about it. And not too sure where to start. Perhaps just 'living' my life is a good start.
I have also decided with the help of others, that I want to start transitioning into using chemical free things. Shampoo, conditioner, soaps, clothes washing liquid, household cleaners etc. I had been thinking about it for a while, had brought some Eco Store goodies at the Home Show to try but then decided they were quite expensive to keep up with, and then my lovely friend won an Eco Store pack for me in a competition just before Christmas. I was rapt, god it was wonderful...and then my three babies all pitched in and brought me a heap of Eco Store products for Christmas. They said when they heard that my friend had won that pack for me, they were worried, but I have said no way!!! Its great, it will keep me going for a while. I love it!!! In all honesty I don't really know what good it will do. But its worth a try right? I have never bothered to check the labels on things I have brought before, driven by price only, and to a point, I still am. If I use these products just for myself, they will last longer. But when we went grocery shopping today, I was pleasantly surprised at how many Eco Store products they are now stocking. This is probably about the second or third time I have done shopping in the last 12 months. I am more than happy to give it back to my big girl when she comes home...I definitely don't miss it...
Some of my 'Eco Store' products
Thursday 29th December 2016 - 3.23pm
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