Last Sunday I had a visit from a family friend whom I have known all my life. Our families were always intertwined with each other when we were younger, but as we have gotten older, we have all gone our separate ways and seldom see each other now. With the help of face book we are able to stay in some kind of contact. It was wonderful to see this lovely lady again as I haven't seen her for a number of years. We had a good catch up but emotion caught up with me, and I broke down in tears. God, I hate crying, and I especially hate crying in front of others. I see it as such a weakness, not in others, but in myself. (I don't know why I am so hard on myself)
Monday was my older daughters birthday - turning 20! It was a quiet night but she had been out with her mate during the day and her sister took her out to get a piercing and she had drinkies around home last Saturday with a couple of her mates. I now have a year to put some money away for her 21st. I wish her dad could see her - she is such a beautiful young lady, beautiful on the inside as well as on the outside. He would be so proud of her - of both his girls. I can see him so clearly in my mind, calling out to the girls and having a joke with them. His voice is so vivid, its almost like he is talking inside my head. His laughter was something else, guaranteed to make the staunchest person crack a smile.
Tuesday night I attended a BC support group meeting. It was a wet and miserable night so there was only a handful of us but I found it really interesting. Everyone had their turn to talk about their diagnosis and treatment, and how they felt, how they coped - whatever they wanted to share really. It was interesting to hear what the other ladies had to say. No two stories were the same. I broke down when I was talking, mainly when talking about having to tell the girls and seeing them get upset and worrying about them and how they were going to cope with all of this. No matter how much I think I have my head around it, it still hits me every so often. I find though that when I talk extensively about it, lots of feelings come flooding into my mind. When I got up on Wednesday morning, I was quite angry and had a wee bit of a rage in my head about how unfair this is but as usual once I got to work, I was fine as I have other things to focus on - thank goodness. It is hard to put into words how I feel being able to talk to other women who have had breast cancer. They know how you feel, they know the shock of being told you have this awful disease, and they know the crap that goes with it. The love and support of family and friends is priceless but to talk to others in the know is something else.
Wednesday, I had my Zometa infusion (bone strengthening) and Zoladex (hormone shot). All went well. A close friend came to pick me up and take me which was lovely. She was supposed to come in with me, but because parking is so crap at Auckland Hospital, she ended up dropping me off and had to park at the domain (close to the museum) and so I had to text her when I was ready to be picked up. It kind of defeated the purpose as we were hoping to catch up, but we managed to squeeze in a quick cuppa before dropping me back to work but the gesture of taking me was appreciated. As for my appointment - no major issues with finding a vein, though they went straight to putting my hand in a bucket of 'hot' water. I guess they have been through this many, many times before. Even my hormone shot was ok. Last months hurt like hell and I had an awful bruise for about two weeks afterwards. But I must have put the right amount of numbing cream on and at the right time, or maybe it was the nurse who did the shot, but either way, I was impressed!
Thursday I went out for lunch and inwardly panicked as the time went by, but as I was not the driver, and considering the company I was in, went with the flow. It was lovely to catch up with them though.
Thursday evening I went out for dinner with a couple of my workmates. These ladies are two of a small handful from work who have constantly been there for me, always making time for me, and are great company as they are always smiling and laughing, and are guaranteed to turn a glum mood into a happy one. We had a lovely time doing exactly that...lots of laughing!
Friday night was my baby girls last school Ball and she looked amazing! She'd had her hair braided earlier on in the week and I was not struck by them in the least but when I saw her dressed ready to go, she looked simply beautiful. I think I was struck speechless at first trying to think of a word that she reminded me of and her big sister said it...that she looked like an Egyptian - my Egyptian Princess...
So after an extremely busy week, I have had the chance to chill out and pysch myself up for another week of work. Not quite so much going on, but my week begins on Monday with my second Sweet Louise meeting which I look forward to.
Saturday 24th September, 2016 - 7.47pm
She's stunning Tania. Amazingly stunning.
ReplyDeleteThank you - I think so too. I am very lucky, both my girls are beautiful inside and out.
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