Good oncology visit - January 2018

I had a really positive visit with the oncologist yesterday. CT scan was clear which means the cancer continues to respond to my existing treatment plan. God, what a relief. Even though I kind of figured everything was ok as I continue to feel so well with no changes in any way.  But doubt is always sitting there...ready to make its presence felt. My mate who comes with me when I am getting results and takes my notes, asked when my infusions will stop and explained we had been told when I was first diagnosed that you only had them for two years. Reuben (I actually got to see my oncologist this time) said that he “begged to differ” and that studies now show if the zometa infusion is working for someone, why stop it. So we have decided to continue on with my existing treatment. Stay on the daily dose of exemestane, monthly zometa (zoladronic acid) infusion and monthly zoladex hormone injection. Why change something that’s working? And I am happy to continue as is...so all in all, Reuben was very pleased with how I am doing. I really have to thank my lucky stars, although unlucky to be diagnosed with a terminaI disease, I am doing so well. You think of those poor people who get diagnosed with only months to live. How cruel...

And so I toddled off to work after dropping my mate home and man did I struggle to get through the afternoon. I got to work about 12.30 so it shouldn’t have been too much of a hardship but are you kidding me!!!! The afternoon dragged and I was so tired...when I got home, it was roasting hot and it was just my big girl home, so we jumped in the car with togs and towels and went for a drive to our usual beach, an hour away...why not make the most of both the beautiful weather and the quiet traffic.  So we got takeaways and had dinner at the beach followed by a swim. It was bloody awesome! What a great way to pass an evening. Beats sitting watching old re-runs on TV or being shut in our rooms.
Admittedly I was pretty exhausted when we got home.

And so what am I doing tonight? Its almost 7.30pm and I’m in bed updating this and listening to music...feeling a bit out of sorts to be honest. Bit fed up cos since hubby went away, I have basically done EVERYTHING...cook dinner, do dishes (get some help with those sometimes), put rubbish out, bring bins back in, do the washing, bring it in to fold up and put away and so on. I really ask myself what this lot will do when I finally kick the bucket. L-A-Z-Y... describes them all quite well. They just don’t think...it doesn’t occur to them how tired and sore I am and how I would appreciate some help, and yes I know I should probably put a bomb under them but honestly if they can’t stop and think about how I am...well fuck it, I’ll just keep plodding on and doing shit and not worry about relying on anyone. It is really disappointing though. They all say they are sick with worry about my cancer and about me dying, but not enough to actually do anything to help. Not worried enough obviously...

Time to pull my head in I think...

Tuesday 9th January 2018 - 7.42pm