I have had the laziest, most chilled out Saturday and have loved every moment of it. Had a lie in this morning, then got up to watch my recorded programs. Then my big girl and I watched the last episode of ‘How to get away with Murder’ - one of my most absolute favourite programs. It has been a ritual each Saturday, followed by watching a couple of movies. I am now hibernating in my room with a fresh cuppa. Its been a relatively busy week. Treatment at the hospital on Monday, nothing out of the ordinary with it, out for dinner with friends Wednesday night, works AGM on Thursday night, and so hubby and my baby girl came with me and we had dinner before hand. Admittedly two nights out, even if they are early finishes (home by 8.30), I am exhausted. Tonight the boss was putting on a social occasion in town for everyone at work. As recognition for all the work put in by all with the new system having come into play. Thats where the name of this post came from. My boss asked if I was going to the AGM and I very emphatically said no, I had been going for years, it was time for the newer staff to do their bit. (We usually attend to ensure there are enough numbers and by living close by, we are the ones relied upon. The south Auckland crew get off due to the distance to travel, which never seem to be such an issue a number of years ago. But as time has gone on, traffic has gotten heavier and they just haven’t been expected to attend). But anyhow, I am steering off course. Anyhow, my boss said to me, I hear your not coming along on Saturday either, have you got your anti-social undies on? To which I said ‘yes I have!’ I told him I am not in the least bit interested in socialising outside of work and the weekends are my time. And I don’t regret that decision for one moment! I came home yesterday relieved in the knowledge that I do not have to have anything to do with work until Monday. If I socialise with workmates, it is my choice. However, I did have second thoughts about attending the AGM. I get a lot of support from my boss with regards to everything that has gone on, and he doesn’t ask much of me, apart from doing my job. Attending the AGM is one small thing I can do to show my support to them, even if I haven’t agreed with recent decisions - not that they are answerable to me, or have to make any kind of explanation. Hence going and having a good catch up with some I haven’t seen in a long while. It was actually really quite nice.
Its been raining off and on most of today...on at the moment and it is so relaxing. Left overs from last night for dinner tonight, so no cooking having to be done...god, this is the life! One more day of the weekend to go, with no set plans.
Tuesday afternoon I have an appointment with my plastic surgeon. Its been possibly 16 months since I last saw him. He said last time “see you at Christmas time” but his nurse told me his Christmas time would probably be closer to March. Both came and went and almost a year later, I finally get one. Not that it worries me, all is well with my implant and non-boob side. If I was to say anything to him, it would possibly be, please take my other implant out. I don’t like it, I never have and I can’t see it happening now. I have days where it feels tight or heavy on my chest - much like the prosthesis. In fact, I just made the comment the other day to my workmates that my false boobs felt tight. The thought of having to go under the knife again does not appeal at all, or having to use my annual leave for recovery time. I’d much rather use it for recreational recovery.
Next month I have an appointment with my breast surgeon. It will have been 12 months since I last saw her. In all honesty, I have no idea why she needs to see me and must make a point of asking.
Come January 27th, it will be two years since diagnosed metastatic (stage 4, incurable, advanced, terminal). Wow...has it almost been that long? I’ve been going round ‘cancer headfucked’ that long? Not sure whether to be scared or impressed. Scared that two years of my life expectancy is now passed or impressed that I have come through it and still in reasonably good health and doing ‘ok’. Bit of both hangs in there...you can’t help it. You just try not to dwell on it too much. Think there is room for improvement!
Saturday 18th November 2017 - 8.03pm
No comments:
Post a Comment