Surrounded by love

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my daughters 21st on Saturday night...and we had a small family gathering for dinner on her actual birthday on the Tuesday night. Both of these occasions have made me realise how surrounded by love we are and admittedly we all get wrapped up with what is happening in our own lives but its lovely to know that we have people in our lives who mean so much.  FAMILY - family means everything to me. As I listened to the speeches at the party on Saturday night, it really brought home to me how many loved ones we have in our lives. I so often get caught up in worrying about what we don't have, mainly money...instead of focussing on what we do have.

Right from Friday night and Saturday morning when hubby's brothers were here helping him with the umu, to my 'young friends' coming round Saturday afternoon to help decorate, my sister having arrived from Melbourne, prepping food in a motel unit, my cousin who lovingly carved and presented  both my girls with a taonga, to hearing the speeches made and the love expressed, it really brought home to me just how lucky we are. I am so busy resenting the people I don't see or hear from, and those that have disappeared from our lives, that I forget to embrace the ones that are here. And while some of these people we don't often see, they are always here when it counts and for that I am grateful.

Family - what does that word even mean? To me it means 'love'. You don't need to have the same blood flowing through your veins to be family. My husbands family - god I love these people so much, I couldn't love them any more if we were blood related. I have friends whom I regard like family - we don't live in each others pockets, but they are always right there when I need them. I don't have a 'best friend' as such and I don't think anyone regards me as their best friend. Other people talk about their besties, I don't have one and yes it does upset me sometimes but really what does that even mean? I don't think I have had the time to invest into a friendship for many years as all my time has been invested into my immediate family, especially my girls. My husband has always done his own thing, mainly going off to play darts, in the weekends. It used to really piss me off when the girls were younger because this was family time  and I wanted us to do things as a family unit. But thats why we have such a close relationship now. The girls and I have accepted that this is how hubby is and it hasn't affected his relationship with them. He loves them dearly and they, him. I think he has a much closer relationship with my girls than he does with his own sons. He has three sons, of whom he never hears from. Not on his birthday, or fathers day or Christmas and I think that is pretty sad. I'm sure that hurts him, I don't ever bring it up so I don't really know what he thinks. Maybe I am more of the resentful type than he is, and he just accepts things as they are whereas I dwell on things.

But where money is important, it isn't the 'be all' and 'end all' of life. Not having it can put a huge strain on things but how can we survive without the love and support of others. Everytime I think of those who stood up and spoke on Saturday night, and what they had to say, it warms my heart...and then there are those that were here who didn't even have to say anything, you just know by them being here, that we are loved.

Thursday 21st September 2017 - 10.25pm