My chance to speak out

This morning my work held a pink and blue ribbon breakfast. Blue ribbon for prostrate cancer which is the biggest killer of men in NZ. I was invited to be a guest speaker and I happily accepted. The idea was to wing it, and then on Friday afternoon, I decided to write out what I was going to say, and then when the time came, I was so confused about what to do, I decided to wing it and use my writings to prompt me.

I didn't look at my paper once. As soon as I was introduced, I had a huge lump in my throat already and I hadn't even opened my mouth yet!!! Its still amazes me that when I utter the words "I have breast cancer", how emotional I get.  Everything I wanted to say left me and I didn't say half of what I wanted but I guess the most important thing of all, is how people need to be educated on symptoms etc and I was really getting into the swing of that!

Hopefully I can upload the video that my baby took on her phone. The first part is missing and she has had to cut it into two short versions so fingers crossed I can upload them to here for you to see. Its a bit hard to hear in some parts but please just bear with it. I think when it begins I am explaining that I had cancer in both sides...

It is super strange to hear yourself speak - is that how I really sound? But I am so glad I did it...I am so fired up about people learning about this goddam disease and if it has to be detected, early detection is the key...

Sunday 9th October 1016 - 12.44pm

When I try to play the video's, it say an error has occurred. I'm tecnologically challenged so I'm not quite sure how to fix it. I'll see what others have to say, and may have to end up deleting them.


Tuesday 11th October 2016

I have ended up deleting the videos as the two options open to me to get them uploaded each held a drawback as far as I was concerned (thank you Kirsty for your help and advice). All I know is that being given the chance to speak to others about what I have been through was a wonderful experience even though I choked up (I hate it when I cry!). Being told my cancer has spread has frightened me more than I can ever really verbalise, even if I have been told I could live for years (but thats part of the unknown isn't it) and my story could have been completely diffferent if I had gone to the doctors when I discovered that lump. If I can make a difference in someone else's life so that they don't make the same mistake would be absolutely amazing.

6.01pm - 11/10/16