I had a really quiet weekend, although I went to see my GP on Friday. I needed to talk to him about me self medicating myself and upping my dosage of happy pills, plus a friend had told me that I could well be entitled to having some home help and that I had to apply through my doctor. So my doctor and I did the paperwork on Friday and he sent it off on my behalf. I was told it could be the new year before someone touches base with me, but helloooooooooooooo, I got a phone call this afternoon. Bad news unfortunately. Perhaps that is why I heard so quickly. The long and the short of it is that I’m not eligible because a) I don’t have a community services card (so because I still work, I get penalised) and b) I have abled bodied people at home with me. The lady asked “Could I afford to pay for a cleaner even for an hour myself?” I may think about it, although I resent having to fork out money when like the lady says, I have people at home who can do it, but perhaps it is worth it to save my sanity. I won’t do anything about it just yet, I’ll see how things go. But I appreciate the quick phone call, bad news or not, but at least I’m not hanging on with some hope.
Since my last post, and then putting it up on my facebook page for others to read, I received so many beautiful messages. I think my girls must have read it as well as they seem to have pulled their socks up a bit, I mean I still had to clean the bathroom yesterday, but they have been doing dishes, putting vacuum over, emptying dishwasher, and cooking dinner tonight. Its a start, so lets see how it goes. I am very grateful for those things to be done and even cleaning the shower yesterday didn’t seem too much of a mission. It makes a difference when your not doing everything.
The other thing which has happened since my last post, is that my sister-in-law reached out to me to invite me to go and stay with her and my brother in Waiuku for the coming weekend. I haven’t seen them for many, many years although my sister in law and I chat on messenger from time to time, especially since I was diagnosed with cancer. There is quite a big age difference between us so perhaps that is partially why we haven’t been closer or involved with each others lives. I remember going out to visit them with mum and dad when I was a kid, spending the whole day with them and their young family. I am going to drive myself, so hope the weather will be clear. I am looking so forward to it, quite excited actually. The thought of catching up and getting to know them again is wonderful not to mention being away from my own place for a whole weekend. Apparently my brother is looking forward to it and is ready to dig out old photos - I think that is just gorgeous 💜- can’t wait! I really look forward to building up a new relationship with them. I have probably heard more from them and had more offers of help than from others I would have expected to have heard from, but haven’t. I am grateful and filled with hope.
I have been feeling so good today and this evening. I remember my GP said I probably wouldn’t feel the full effects of my upping my anti depressants for a full month. Where I could instantly feel some relief, I am wondering if I am beginning to really reap the benefits now. I honestly cannot believe how good I feel, almost like my old self. I don’t feel remotely tired, although I had a marvellous sleep last night. Makes such a difference...
“Heres to feeling great!”
Monday 7th October 2019 - 6.55pm
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