Social media

Its Friday morning, the start of my three day weekend which is simply wonderful and makes such a difference. I’ve slept in, gotten up to take my first lot of pain meds for the day and was trawling through facebook while I waited for those meds to kick in. I happen to come across a video by a young Australian woman called Constance Hall. All I know is that Constance is a well known blogger. I don’t know much about her although I have heard her name numerous times. Anyhow, in this video she was talking about the amount of abuse and bullying she receives on social media and she read out some of the hateful things that had been said. I had tears rolling down my face for a woman I didn’t know and my heart filled with anger and disgust at these cowardly and hateful beings. What has happened to us? Even when I read news posts about people getting killed or whatever the story may be - the posts which follow can be so hateful. Everyone has an opinion and certainly voices it - in written form. Do people have more courage when they are hiding behind a screen and feel they can say whatever they like? What do you call those people who deliberately bombard  posts wth hateful messages? (One of my blank moments). Everything you say, they twist it. I felt so compelled to look up Constance Hall and leave her an encouraging message. I will never see this woman, I will never hear from her, our paths will never cross but I felt so helpless after hearing the hate she has had to endure, a part of me simply had to make known to her that someone albeit a complete stranger had her back, even though it won’t stop the haters. But so long as you know amongst the haters, there are the good guys too.

It made me think though. I recently had an altercation with someone over messenger. It didn’t start out that way, in fact it was started for a positive reason. But a response I received from my message upset me, and as I tell people now, I lose my rag very quickly these days - my tolerance is at an all time low. So I vocalised my pissed offness to this person (and of course everyone else who was a part of the discussion) and then promptly left the group. It has since blown up completely out of proportion and has caused a huge rift but it made me think,..Am I no better than those hateful, hurtful people?  am I also a cyber bully of sorts? I completely put my hand up and own that I started it. The  danger of when communication is done in written form, you are unable to have an understanding of how something is ‘said’. The expression we use when verbally explaining something can give a sentence a completely different meaning. And so the danger of reading something and misunderstanding it, is quite probable. And I think it was in this case. I received a berating from this person or persons I should say, which was quite hurtful. I believe to a degree I deserved it, or needing some form of being told to pull my head in, but actually what was said and how it was said has been quite hurtful.  I can’t bring myself to read those messages again but I spent the most part of that weekend feeling very unwell - I felt like my aches and pains had magnified on a huge scale, so I don’t know if being under stress of any kind, can play a part in how your body functions - does that even make sense?

This isn’t the first time I’ve shot myself in the foot because of my intolerance...I was never like this before cancer. But unfortunately, along with my lack of tolerance these days, I don’t forgive too easily. I certainly don’t forget...I was saying to my older daughter last night, by the time I kick the bucket, I will have alienated everyone around me - because I can’t keep my damn mouth shut.

So I guess the lesson here, is think before you say or write something! Once its out, you can’t take it back. You may be able ro use the words “I’m sorry” but they don’t make the words disappear like they were never there. Thats my problem these days, I’m too reactionary and instantly. I need to learn to stop, think, give it a few minutes (or more) before responding. Only time will tell whether I ever take my own advice on...

But something we should take on board - be kind to one another.

Friday 1st February 2019 - 1.01pm