oh my giddy aunt, I just re-read my post from this morning. Full of mistakes - words without spaces, incorrect spelling - ugh. I usually try to proof read before posting but something always slips through. And often when I hit the space bar its like I haven’t even touched it. But enough...
Rough day today...no reason in particular - well actually thats not quite true. Got shit going on in my head but unable to express it to anyone. Coupled with a lack of sleep, and a menopausal mood, its not a happy one thats for shit sure.
Why does life have to be so hard and so complicated? Why do humans have to be so complex? Why do we have to ‘love’ people...it would be so much easier if we didn’t. I saw a picture on facebook this morning of my mum and her best friend, who was without a doubt one of my other favourite people. Lots of memories and emotions came flooding back and I felt like breaking down and crying. I’ve been thinking about mum a bit lately and I guess with Anzac Day last week, thinking about dad who fought in WWII - I have felt their loss considerably. I get sick of being the strong person all the time...just because I am a mum doesn’t mean I have all the answers and it doesn’t mean I don’t need to lean on someone sometimes. I’m going through a real hate cancer stage at the moment. I know how lucky I am to be as well as I am but I am just sick of it....I am sick of taking it like a trooper...sick of being happy and positive...I am sick of working full time...sick of being responsible for the bills...sick of being the one to sort everything out...sick of being treated at work by the young people like I don’t matter...just absolutely fucking sick of everything...
I have no enthusiasm for anything right at this moment...
Whats that old saying...”lifes a bitch and then you die”
Tuesday 1st May - 7.24pm
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