No treatment this time

I am wide awake...been trying to go back to sleep since about 3.00am. Thats what happens when you try to go to sleep atan earlier time...what a bloody waste of time. Whats the lesser of the two evils? Going to sleep late and fighting with yourself when its time to get up? Or going to sleep early, wake up hours earlier and I presume feel buggered earlier while at work - guess I’ll find out soon enough.

Went for my oncology appointment yesterday to be followed with my treatment. Only thing is, I forgot to go for my blood test last week - what an idiot! First time in almost wo years I have done that...or not done that as the case may be in this instance and so they didn’t want to go ahead without seeing bloods. Plus I happened to mention that my teeth are a bit sensitive when I have a hot drink, so strike two.......I now have to be referred to Greenlane Hospital to get my teeth checked out, so no more treatment until that gets done. The oncologist hopes I should be seen before my next treatment is due in 28 fays. What a colossal screw up.

Life is ticking along...I am still following my keto ‘diet’. Not too much difference happening on the scales but have lots inches. I have gone down a dress size...brought a couple of tops the other night, in a smaller size and the lady in the chemist asked how it was going and commented on the weightloss in my face and top half, so that was great to hear. Because the scales aren’t shifting too much, sometimes I get a bit frustrated and fed up although I know the ‘science’  behind it. My taste buds havedefinitely changed. I had some 70% cocoa chocolate the other day and previously when I had tried ot, I thoight it was pretty disgusting. Now I am finding it quite sweet and an enjoyable treat. I don’t drink tea any more, not even with cream...its now sugarless coffee with cream...and herbal teas. Who am I? And what has happened to the real Tania????

I have found myself a wee hobby and one I am enjoying it immensely. My cousin when she saw a big blanket I was crocheting, happened to mention that maybe I should do babies ones and donate to people in need. That idea immediately got my attention and so I started basically the next day. I put a call out on facebook askng if anyone had any spare wool sitting in their cupboards and I have had so much given to me...its awesome! A couple of the ladies at work went and brought me some, they were so impressed by this idea and lots of people sharing what they had at home - time and time again I am humbled by the kindness of people. People who I don’t know, are gifting me some of their wares - its quite hard to put imto words how it makes you feel. I am now on my 8th blanket...I want to go out in the weekend and get some knitting needles. I was thinking I might make some bootees as well if I can find a nice simple yet cute pattern. And then once I have a wee stash, will find somewhere to donate them to. I feel like I am doing something worthwhile...it keeps me busy and I can do it in the comfort of my own home whenever I feel like it. I had been wondering whether to do volunteer work but was reluctant to commit myself for various reasons. This is perfect...and I can keep doing it as long as I have wool (and I have a nice wee stash).

Winter is creeping up towards us and with that, the aches are making themselves felt again. It was a wonderful reprieve over summer without them but as with everything in life, nothing goood or worthwhile sticks around forever. To be honest they have been quite horrendous and I have been trying my best to not take anything for them, but its pointless because the time comes where the pain gets out of control and hits you with a bang! Also because it had been a four month nreak between oncology appointments, I was running super low on pain killers, my usual ones, not the stronger ones. I had rung my GP to get a script of all mt tablets and she didn’t give me any bloody paracodeine!!! But I made it through ok...and the oncologist has given me a shitload - in fact I cracked up when the lovely man at the chemist handed them over! They look like a box of tissues! Usually I getso,ething like 200, think this time I got something like 700! Should keep me going for a wee while then...

Oops alarm has just gone off...guess that means another day is due to begin. Wonder what it will bring...

Tuesday 1st May 2018 - 5.39am