I had heard two separate but completely devastating pieces of news - news that tears at the hearts of families and loved ones involved and unless you are made of stone, cannot help but be moved by their plight.
Sometimes we forget how fragile life is and how quickly it can be taken away from us. The choices we make can be the difference whether we live or die. To lose your life outright is one thing, especially if it is sprung upon your loved ones without any warning. To be given a life sentence - a shortened one is incomprehensible. Both situations are...neither one is worse than the other - they are both horrendous. For those who have lost a loved one suddenly grief instantly sets in and your loved ones are left contemplating what on earth happened? How could this have happened? And you attempt to go through the motions of life, when in fact your life has forever been changed by the sudden loss of your loved one.
When you are given the devastating news that your life expectancy has been cut short by some rotten disease or condition which has wormed its way into your body, how do you comprehend that? How can you continue to carry on with ‘life’, putting one foot in front of the other, also going through the motions of life as the dreaded condition infiltrates more as time goes by. Life as you have known it has come screeching to a halt. Not just for the person diagnosed, but for loved ones around too. The ones who will need to pick up and carry on ensuring bills are still paid, dinner is still cooked, shopping is still done and so on. These people will also need to pick up and carry on after their loved one has gone. The truly cruel and dispicable twist can be that there may he drugs available which could give more time with loved ones but the ‘cost’ of it is out of reach unless you are extremely well off financially, or are willing to to put yourself in dire financial straits - adding horrendous costs to your mortgage. This is the financial cost only...what about the emotional cost involved? How do you cope with those?
I have always said in my journey, although unlucky being diagnosed with a terminal disease, I am so lucky...I keep very good health and hearing of these two families whose lives have been completely devastated emphasises it greatly.
Do I feel guilty? Partly but mostly grateful. Although I also feel guilt in feeling grateful - even though I know this is not how they would want me or anyone else, to feel.
And so my love and thoughts are with these families and I wish with all my might there was something I could do to ease their pain.
Tuesday 13th March 2018 - 7.52pm
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