Goodness, its been a long time since last posting. I’ve thought about it a number of times but in all honesty just haven’t felt up to it.
Posting tonight and feeling like I do, comes with feelings of guilt. Guilt because I should be grateful for being here and being as well as I am. Life is full of tragedy and its those tragedies which affect people around me, makes me think I should be more grateful but I guess you can’t compare your life to others. We all have our crap that we have to deal with in one way or another.
Not too much has gone on that I can remember. Life has been ticking along pretty much as usual until recently when we discovered some of my cancer spots have had some progression in them. This has caused the oncologist to change my treatment and I am having trouble getting used to it. Instead of taking the exemestane, I am now on a tablet called Ibrance daily, still have my three monthly zoladex but now have at the moment a fortnightly injection in each butt cheek called Faslodex. It will change shortly to monthly thank goodness.These drugs come with some baggage unfortunately. Weariness where I can hardly keep my eyes open (except last two nights) and I am feeling in a lot more pain in my lower back and hip area. The oxy’s aren’t even really touching it, so sometimes I am doubling up but I try not to. Not until I go back on Monday to see the oncologist and ask. It will have only been a month since I have seen them, but they want to check and see how I am responding to the new meds.
Just to slightly confuse things a bit, I was diagnosed last week as diabetic and while it doesn’t bother me greatly, I am unsure if some of the side effects I am experiencing are from the new cancer drugs or the metformin for the diabetes. Its been coming for a while and to be perfectly honest I have needed something to get me back on the right eating track again. Pretty drastic way of going about it though.
Crazy to think Christmas is just a week away and that we finally get to escort the year 2020 out without a backwards glance. Covid has taught us a valuable lesson, to not take our freedom and health for granted. I hooe 2021 is a much better one for us all.
Today marks a day of sadness for my sister and her close friends. One of their gang passed away from the dreaded cancer and so his funeral was today. I feel for my sister who is stuck in Melbourne, unable to come and say her goodbyes as well as offer her love and sympathies to the family. Something like this always enforces the vast space between us. The quietness of the evening is quite eerie and all I can think of is this family and wondering how they are after laying their loved one to rest. It brings back unwanted memories, always at times like this.
I can’t believe it, I have finished a post. Hopefully I am back on track again. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year.
Friday 18th December 2020 - 9.12pm
