A good start to the year...

Its been a relatively quiet few weeks, nothing too exciting going on, but I have decided that 'exciting' is over rated and I am more than happy with quiet and boring. Although remind me of that when I am in one of my moods and bored shitless because I have nowhere to go!

I am in 'positive' mode at the moment. I had already decided I wanted to make this a much better year and to try and do what I could in my power to make it that way. I am taking my painkillers regularly so I no longer ache like I used to. I can tell the difference for instance, during the night when I have to get up - my hands and feet are aching but it is tolerable since I just go back to bed and sleep. I am trying during the week, to go to bed early, so I am not tired and have enough fuel in the tank to get through a working day and week. Its only early days but it seems to be working. And with going back to see Lynda my nutritionist and so watching what I am eating and even having lost a few kilo's, that is also having an effect on me. I feel great! And it feels great to be feeling great!

By the end of last year, I was so exhausted and couldn't be bothered with too much of anything, I was sure I wanted to cut my working hours down. But honestly, at the moment, I feel on top of the world and I am more than happy to be fulltime.

My trip to Melbourne to see my sister and family is coming up quite quickly. I try not to think about it too much and I know the time with them will fly by so quickly, but I can't wait to see them all. If I think about it too much, I get too excited (that word again) and I feel like a cat on a hot tin roof...I was messaging with my sister the other night and she said they are all so excited - yay!!!!!

My lovely nutritionist just recently shared my story and video on her website and facebook page and encouraged her clients to share it, to help get the word out there about the importance of being vigilant and being aware of breast cancer. She also shared it with a few other contacts of hers and I absolutely appreciate it. This lady has been so good to me. She has kept in contact with me as I had been going to see her before I was diagnosed with BC, so she would check to see how I was doing. She gave me advice on what I should eat when in recovery mode and now with being diagnosed MBC, I am seeing her on a regular basis while I learn how to eat wisely and get some of this damn weight off that I had put on in the last year. She's wonderful, I am honestly so grateful to have met her. Thank you Lynda.

On a sad note, one of our Metavivor ladies died earlier this week. Metavivors is a closed facebook group for women with MBC. You can post anything, queries you may have, your fears, good stories, anything and the support from others who 'get it' is great. It can be quite confronting at times and I will go through stages where I won't read any of the posts as I get overwhelmed and you just want to rush in and give all these wonderful women big hugs and lots of support but in reality, you just can't do it. But to read that this lovely lady had died, was quite devastating. She had posted something in early January with some glamour pictures she had recently had taken, and maybe that is why I really felt I had lost someone I knew. To be able to put a face to a name, I don't know. Very sad...and of course I feel for her family and wonder how they are doing.

But for me, life is good...in fact better than good - it is great! And I just wanted to share that with you all. I hope that whatever you are doing, you are keeping well and enjoying life..and so the first month of the new year is almost over and it has been pretty bloody good overall. Lets see what February brings - more of the same!

Sunday 28th January 2017 - 12.03am

Oncology appointment - 11 January 2017

I had my three monthly oncology appointment today. My baby girl came with me as my note taker. I was under the impression it was simply to see the oncologist as I had not received an appointment for my Zometa infusion. I had put this down to having broken my toes and thought perhaps they were waiting a few months before starting it up again. Nope...not the case at all. They had simply not notified me. Luckily I had said something about it to Reuben Broome and he advised me otherwise.

Nothing to report really. Falling on my tailbone will not affect the cancer (phew!) - that was the one I was worried about. Nothing untoward in the ultrasound on my neck gland done in November and because I have done so well in the last year, we will keep the status quo. He is ordering a CT scan and bone scan for the last week in March after I return from Melbourne and the results will be ready for my next oncology appointment on 5th April. These are usually the 'interesting' appointments, as it gives us a guideline on what the cancer is doing.

Zometa infusion went as normal with my zoladex injection afterwards. All good, the nurse was able to find a vein after putting my hand in hot water for about ten minutes. So thats over for another 28 days. Next treatment is 8th February.

This is my first week back at work after a two week break. While I had periods of feeling bored and shitty (yep, those mood swings again), I had a lovely rest and am quite happy to be back. At the end of last year I was tired and really struggling with a 40 hour working week. Now I feel like I am ready to take on the world. Hope it lasts...I need to find ways of coping and managing the tiredness.

I had one particularly shitty day while I was on leave, god I really hate those days. They are truly bloody awful and I dispise feeling that way but feel like I have no control or any way of reigning those feelings in at that time. I decided the best thing was to remove myself away from everyone so I went and shut myself up in the bedroom and quietly stewed. A bit later hubby came and checked on me, to make sure I was ok. In his quiet, gentle manner, he seems to know how to calm me down. He took the time to sit and listen to me as I talked about how I was feeling and he slotted his little words of wisdom in here and there. Mood improved - I was grateful and I think so was the rest of the household!

Wednesday 11th January 2017 - 8.55pm